It’s Not That Hard, If You Try It.
It’s not that difficult.
We are always afraid of what will happen, even though it may not necessarily happen.
That morning, I sat on a bench in a small river. Not only me, but there was a figure I hoped could help my future and I called him father.
You know what it’s like to want to speak but your throat feels choked? that’s how I felt. All I could do was move my feet repeatedly and bite my fingernails.
The feeling of anxiety haunts me, even though I’ve been thinking about this all night. I repeatedly tried to get the words out of my mouth I used to laugh, but I couldn’t.
second by second, minute by minute passed. Until he finally decided to leave, I suddenly had the strength to speak.
“I have something to say to you”. I could finally speak after so many minutes of just biting my fingers while looking at the flowing river water.
He sat back down and asked me what I wanted to talk to him about. Again and again, my throat seemed to be choked by a wire. he started asking again, all I did was shed tears.
He kept patiently waiting for the words I would say until finally, I spoke while stammering and occasionally wiping the tears that were competing to come out.
He kept patiently listening, even occasionally throwing jokes. And finally, I felt comfortable and not afraid anymore. As if I had forgotten what I felt before.
Finally, my conversation was over. And it went smoothly. It was not that scary. It turned out that he was not the figure I was afraid of as a child. He had changed.
